Here’s the Lowdown
Deciding you’re ready to start a family may be one of the most difficult decisions you make in life. SPOILER ALERT!!! – things don’t get any easier after you do it.
The stresses quickly pile up from the day your little one is born. The journey starts with many a sleepless night trying to figure out exactly what your kiddo needs to keep them healthy and happy, usually while they’re screaming in your face in the middle of the night. You may even get lucky enough to get some puke or poop sent your way if things are really going well.
Once you start turning the corner from the newborn battles, enter some financial stress. How the heck are you going to afford caring for this thing for the rest of your life? Food, clothes, medical visits, education, activities, ahhhh!
OK, now time to go back to work. Annnnd, time for some more struggles trying to balance your professional and personal lives. Prioritize your work, try to get all your tasks done in order to meet those deadlines or hear it from your boss…oh yea, and you better meet that 5pm deadline and get home to help or hear it from your other “boss”… 🙂
Ready, Set, Let it Go!
Before you start to drive yourself too crazy with all of the stresses in your life, first think about the idea of letting things go. Understanding how to let things go and training yourself to do so will put you in a position where you will be able to handle most things thrown your way, even when they don’t play out as perfect as you envisioned.
What Does it Mean to “Let Go”?
There are many, many definitions out there for “letting go”. Here are a few I found on the interwebs that I came across that I liked:
- Success Consciousness – “Letting go is the process of freeing yourself from obsessing thoughts and unhappy feelings“.
- Success Consciousness – “It is non-attachment to results. This means that you do your best in every situation, but if things do not turn well or as planned, you don’t dwell on them and don’t get disappointed or discouraged.”
- Thought Catalog – “Letting go means having trust that things will get better. It means being brave to move forward to get to where you want to be. Letting go means accepting the things you can’t change and doing something about the things you can.”
- P.S. this idea of understanding what is and what is not in your control (and not letting what is outside of your control impact your life) is one of the main tenets of Stoicism, which if you are not familiar with you should look into. It’s a theme I’ve seen over and over again in my favorite book that is considered one of the foundational writings in Stoicism, Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
- Psychology Today – “Letting go means being willing to allow life to carry you to a new place, even a deeper more true rendition of self.”
There are clearly many great definitions out there to get you thinking but in my opinion, “letting go” is something that is very personal and unique to each one of us. It can relate to something as simple as not getting angry at your child when they give you a hard time brushing their teeth. It can also relate to something not simple at all like growing up with an abusive parent. The idea is generally the same in all situations, but there is no one definition or approach as each one of us leads a very unique life.
6 Ways That Letting Go Can Make You a Better, Stronger Leader and Parent
Regardless of your exact definition, the ability to let negative and unimportant things go will have an extremely positive impact on your life. It will also play a direct role in your ability to be a strong leader for your family and colleagues. Here are some ways that learning how to let go will make you a stronger leader, parent and person in general:
1. You will be able to effectively manage your stress.
Life is not going to stop throwing stressful things your way, especially if you are the type of person that is reading this blog and actively looking for ways to become a better person. Whether it’s on the personal or professional front, prepare yourself for the stresses to come. Proper preparation will reduce the element of surprise and reduce the anxiety that comes with those surprises.
Once you’ve prepared yourself, focus on the task or responsibility at hand that may be starting to stress you out a bit. Try to methodically break things down and work through them (like we wrote about in our post here!), letting go of the negative, unimportant things that are doing nothing but wasting your time. Many people let these types of things overcome their focus and waste their time, adding stress and killing your productivity. Simply let them go and move on…
2. It will make you more resilient.
Studying and practicing the art of letting go on a regular basis will help you bounce back quickly whenever you have a set back. Say the kids are really getting under your skin today and you blow your top for a minute yelling at one of your little angels.
If you’re used to letting things go, you may take a step back, gather yourself, apologize to your child and move on – learning from the experience and using it to become a better parent. On the other hand, some parents may let the kids completely ruin their day. This may in turn ruin the day for your kids or result in an unproductive and negative day at work.
Practice makes perfect (not really perfect but you get the idea). Regularly letting go of negativity and things that do not truly impact your life will allow you to bounce back strongly next time something comes up…
3. You will set a better example for those you are leading…and leading by example is always the most effective approach.
If you are fortunate enough to be in a position of leadership, then it is something that must be respected. Not everyone is able to get to that type of position and it is important that you act like a true leader if/when you get there.
One way to act like a leader is to not let negative or unimportant things that are outside of your control bother you. Let them go and show those that are looking to you for guidance how to do so as well. You will be making everyone stronger and earning respect from your team in the process…
4. You will actually be able to take on MORE and become MORE PRODUCTIVE.
On the surface it seems like you wouldn’t want to just keep piling more on your plate, but letting things go will allow you to **successfully** take on more. You’ll be wasting less time on things that are unnecessary and you’ll be able to focus more on the things you need to in order to be successful…
5. You can focus more on the present, making the time spent with your family and colleagues far more meaningful.
There’s no time like the present, as they say. Tough to really live in the present, however, if you’re focusing on something silly that someone may have said to you in a meeting earlier. Or maybe you’re still upset that the pizza shop delivered you a grilled chicken sub instead of a steak and cheese like you ordered.
Put these silly things behind you and instead focus on the fact that you have your family with you and be grateful for it. Listen to your spouse and children, hear their laughter and enjoy it. Life is short and learning to let go of what isn’t important will help you make the most of what is important in the present…
6. You will allow yourself to focus on continuous improvement rather than focusing on struggles or failures.
Life is all about getting better, achieving your goals and living according to your guiding principles. If you want to lead a meaningful life, determine what it is you truly care about and design your life according to these things. Let go of the little things that come up and do not align with what you consider important. They will not impact your ability to live the kind of life you want to and will get in the way of continuing to become a better person.
A Proper Send Off
I’ll leave you with a few quotes from my man Lao Tzu, who has some valuable advice to share on this topic via the Tao Te Ching:
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond winning.”
Lao Tzu
“Therefore the Master acts without doing anything and teaches without saying anything. Things arise and she lets them come; things disappear and she lets them go. She has but doesn’t possess acts but doesn’t expect. When her work is done, she forgets it. That is why it lasts forever.”
Lao Tzu
Here are some great reads I suggest you pick up and keep by your bedside: