As you continue to design a positive and productive life for yourself using some of the reminders we’ve talked about on this site, let’s add one to the list for the next time you grab yourself a healthy snack.
A Daily Reminder
While finishing up my afternoon apple with almond butter the other day (healthy and delicious), I was reminded of the importance of establishing and living in accordance with a set of core values.
What Are Core Values?
What the heck are core values? Yourdictionary.com has a pretty good definition:
Core values are the fundamental beliefs of a person or organization. These guiding principles dictate behavior and can help people understand the difference between right and wrong. Core values also help companies to determine if they are on the right path and fulfilling their goals by creating an unwavering guide. There are many different examples of core values in the world, depending upon the context.
yourdictionary.com
Your Foundation
Think of your home. Now think of its foundation and the fact that without a solid foundation, your home would have nothing to stand on. It would simply crumble anytime the elements come a knockin’. With a strong foundation, however, your home can withstand the heat, cold, wind, rain and snow.
Just like your home needing its foundation, it is essential for you to have a set of core values for yourself, your family and your organization. They’ll be there with you on the sunny days but also help you survive the rough weather. They’ll help guide you through life and keep your actions in line with what it is you feel is most important to you.
Don’t Stress – Rest Easy, My Friend
It is far too easy to lose your way when life gets stressful. The kids running you ragged, bills piling up and projects not doing well at work can quickly start to pull you in different directions. You may get short with your responses to the people you care about and take shortcuts to get things done, and perhaps done poorly. Your loss of focus may cause relationships to become strained, which can lead to more stress.
Establishing a set of core values will not remove all of these stresses. However, they will help you deal with them successfully. They’ll guide you during times of stress and help you act in a way that you feel is important. Knowing that you’re acting in a way that you’ll be proud of will help you perform well and rest easy at night. Reduced stress and good rest will set the stage for a balanced, positive and happy life.
What Are Some Examples?
There are many, many different values out there that you may want to consider “core” to living your ideal life. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits (ie, he knows something about living a positive and productive life), published a list of core values here that can get your brain thinking:
I like his idea of limiting yourself on the number of values you want to deem as “core” to your life. Like anything else, if you take on too much, they simply won’t be as meaningful and you’ll start to lose focus. When I brainstorm a bit about my life, I keep coming back to the following as those “core” to how I want to live my life.
Integrity
I think it all starts with integrity. Living with integrity means doing the right thing simply because it’s the right thing to do. It has less to do with caring what people think of you and acting in a way that you believe is right.
Integrity means being honest, keeping promises and not being afraid of the truth. It means being fair and treating people with respect. This is how I want to live my life and if I can say I live with integrity then it doesn’t matter what anyone in this world thinks about me.
Authenticity
Some may feel that integrity and authenticity are one in the same but I feel they are different enough that I value each of them separately. Authenticity to me simply means being myself in all situations. Not changing to please this person or that person to try and get ahead or win friends. When speaking, don’t try to say what others want to hear but speak as you feel.
While integrity may mean doing the right thing, authenticity means being true to yourself. Ideally, these will complement each other and being myself will lead to doing the right thing and treating people the right way, consistently.
Self-Respect
Similar to the need for treating other people with respect, it is essential to treat yourself with respect. Take care of yourself just as you would your family and team. Give yourself opportunities to learn. Take care of your body by feeding it healthy food and giving it regular exercise.
Don’t get down on yourself when you struggle with something because that is simply a part of getting better. If you take care of yourself, you’ll then be able to do a better job of taking care of others as well. “Putting Your Own Oxygen Mask On First” will help you properly care for the people around you.
Growth
My wife and I are always striving to be better – better parents, spouses, employees and people in general. Many posts on this blog are the result of trying to become better. Using life and what is has given us to continue improving.
It doesn’t always happen, which is where these other values come into play, but wanting to get better, and living in accordance with that value, is bound to eventually get us there.
Balance
The final value I have in my list is balance. This blog is all about balance, in every sense of the word. Don’t overdo anything in life, regardless of what it is. Too much exercise without a day off isn’t healthy and too many days off without exercise isn’t healthy. Too much of anything is never good so the key is to always strive for balance.
You’ll know when you’re starting to take on too much of one thing because something else in your life will likely start to need a little more attention. Listen to those signs and naturally you’ll start to ebb and flow just as nature intended.
What does your list look like?
How Do I Establish My Core Values?
There are many sources out there that may be able to help guide you in establishing your core values. I recommend simply giving yourself some time to reflect on what’s really important to you. This time doesn’t have to be anything formal, just let some thoughts marinate for a while. Maybe try some quiet meditation and maybe go for a walk (if you want to get thinking outside the box).
Here are some things to consider:
Those that you love.
What is important to the people that you love and what are the traits that would make them proud to have you as their parent, spouse, friend, manager, etc? Thinking about the people that you really care about and what they value will start to shape your own values.
For example, if you love your spouse and what your spouse really cares about is having a partner that is open, honest and reliable, perhaps those things will start to reveal the values you want to shape your life.
Those that you admire.
Everyone has a person or people that they admire in their lives. It may be a formal mentor, parent, friend or leader in the workplace. When you really take a look at these people, what is it that makes you admire them? What are the traits they embody that allows them to accomplish what you see as admirable?
What inspires you and makes you happy.
What gets you excited in your everyday life? Is it doing something special for your family, learning something new or being able to rest easy at night knowing that you put in an honest and hard day’s work? Or maybe it is taking care of your mind and body to feel at your best.
When you think about these things, think about the underlying values that are consistent across them and allow you to accomplish them well.
What you will think when you look back.
Some may think it’s morbid but think about being on your deathbed for a moment. Think about that day, hopefully far down the road, and picture looking back at your life. What do you think you’ll be most proud of?
Do you think it will be buying that nice care or big house? Or do you think it will be working hard day in and day out to continue growing as a person, parent or spouse? Do you think it will be lying to your friends about your job to impress them? Or do you think it will be being an honest friend that they can trust regardless of what’s going on in your life or theirs?
Begin with the end in mind and think about the life you want to be proud of. Then, think about the values that may be able to shape your life to help you accomplish that.
Additional Resources
Here are some resources I came across that may help get you thinking about values, what’s important and how you may be able to establish your own set of core values:
SoulSalt
As this site notes in their About Us, “Through a positive mindset, the practice and training of our brains, and the motivation to push through any challenge, your soul and spirit can break through incredible barriers.” It’s a great site and they have an awesome post about defining your list of values here.
Big Life Journal
This is a very a cool site that offers kiddos a number of different journal templates to help improve self-esteem, teach resiliency and learn about the importance of challenging yourself in life. They’ve got a great post about setting core values for your family here and here’s one take at a visual of a family’s values:
Raising Kids With Purpose
This valuable site all about the journey of parenting has a great post about defining and discovering your family values. I recommend a read!
Now Use Them
Once you establish your set of core values, write them down somewhere that you’ll be able to refer to on a regular basis. I use Evernote for just about all of my note taking, both personal and professional. I can manage my notes on my phone and computer anytime. It’s free and works great!
Once you’ve got your list, one idea you can explore may be to use a free service like Canva to create an image for your family (similar to the one above from Big Life Journal) that you can print out and hang up somewhere. Have fun with it and get creative using their cool templates as a starting point.
Finally…don’t forget to keep your core values in mind next time you get to the core of your favorite healthy snack!