Type A All the Way…Right?
One of the struggles I have faced in my adult life is having a type A personality while being a Mom of multiple small children. If you are like me, everything always has to be neat and organized and nothing can be out of place or you just tend to throw everything away. The perfect environment for toddlers and babies, right? Here I am 4 ½ years into motherhood with 3 little ones and another on the way and I still struggle with this every day.
My husband is always reminding me to stop trying to have the perfect house as if we are taking photos for a magazine every day. He is right. Who am I trying to impress? Actually no one. If you have a type A personality, it is just in your nature to be neat and organized…all the time.
Daily Reflection and Reminders
At the end of the day, when everyone is finally in bed and the house is quiet, I am able to reflect on the day. Here are some things I try and think about:
- What was awesome about the day?
- What could I have done differently?
- How were the kids behaving today?
- How did I react to their behavior?
- What do I need to prep for them tomorrow?
This is usually when things start to settle in my mind. I’ll walk into the very clean and organized playroom and think to myself, “one day this will not be a playroom, it’ll likely be something fancy and boring, without cute little kids running around, making a mess and using their imagination.” Queue the tears…..
I try to remind myself on a daily basis that this stage of life goes by so fast and one day my house won’t have any toys, swings, rock ’n plays, pack ’n plays, bouncy seats, etc. If you really take a minute to stop and picture your house without little kids and all that stuff, how would you feel? I’ll queue the tears for you here.
Imperfect is Perfect
If you are like me, it is a struggle to always feel like everything has to be so perfect, neat and organized. I still struggle with it every day but when you stop yourself and try to be in the moment, you’ll realize how fast this will all be over. I bet you will even start to shift gears as your emotions take over.
You will soon forget about the cars you keep tripping on in the kitchen when trying to cook or all of the toys that mysteriously moved into your nice living room that should be in the playroom. Every stain, every crayon mark, even every little dent on the wall tells a story. It’s a story you will never forget, memories of those little, stinky, dirty hands and how they run around the house having fun, using their imagination.
Here’s a great read where you can find a similar message and lesson:
Let go of the stress of keeping everything perfect and organized and let the kids be kids. Give them a space that is theirs to enjoy and where they can get creative and have fun but also allow for freedom in other areas of the house. Don’t freak out when fifty toys have made their way right in front of the fridge as you are starting to cook!
What I am realizing is that my kids are safe and that is the most important thing. They are actually playing nicely together, using their imaginations and having fun. If a truck crosses from the playroom into the kitchen…do you really care? If you just cleaned the playroom and the baby crawls over and knocks all of the toys out of their boxes…do you really care? They are being kids and you (myself lol) are being uptight. They will never remember a clean house but they will remember the fun times and imaginative play.
Embracing it All
Don’t be ashamed of your personality, embrace it when the timing is right. You have qualities such as being organized, a go getter, motivated, ambitious, independent and great at multitasking. Use these qualities to their advantage as opposed to letting them take over your day in a negative way. Even as a Mom, these are great qualities when you have multiple children because you need these skills to run a household with the day to day craziness.
My point is, when it comes to the play and interaction of your children, try to minimize the more weak behaviors of type A. These include being controlling, high strung and easily getting upset over small things. Those are the qualities we need to let go of while parenting so we don’t teach our children these behaviors and allow for a more fun, playful environment.
Tips to Help With the Stress of a Type A Personality and Motherhood
Here are some tips that may help you because they have certainly helped me!
Exercise
For me, waking up early and getting 30 minutes of exercise before tackling the day helps me to focus, stay energized and positive. I recommend trying some HIIT workouts because your free time is sure to be limited being a parent!
Music
For all of you 80s and 90s babies out there who love the music they grew up on, try putting your headphones on, stepping outside and blasting some Madonna or N’SYNC…I bet you’ll soon be put in a better mood!
Writing
Being able to write for a few minutes or put a post together like this helps me reflect and stay on my toes. Gratitude journaling is also another way to block negative emotions to create more space for the positive ones.
Find a Hobby
I know, we don’t really have time for hobbies! But try to find something you really enjoy doing. You don’t even have to leave your house. For me, it’s baking. I love to bake when I am happy, stressed, angry, or any time really. It just makes me feel good to see the end product and watch those happy little faces devour the yummy treats!
Meditation
You only need a few minutes a day, even 3-5 minutes when you wake up in the morning. The most important thing is to just take a few minutes for yourself to clear your head. You can even just sit there, breathe and think about what you are grateful for…or think about nothing at all. Time for yourself will help you become a better person for others.